Inspiration

I found this website through my friend Alison. She has begun losing weight, and it has really inspired me. You've got to check this guy out. He lost 120 lbs in less than a year, and he documented the entire journey. It amazes me that he had the guts to video himself. Why does that amaze me? Because I know how embarrassing it is to know that others notice your obesity. Anyway, this guy is so inspiring! I want to lose weight. I want to be healthy. I want to look good. I want to have a second wedding, and be the bride I wish I was the first time around. I want to raise healthy kids, and I want to be there for them when they are grown. I don't want diabetes. Or heart disease. Or high blood pressure. But I'm scared.

How many times have I said "this is it"? And I meant it, too. I've failed time and time again, and I'm afraid to try because I'm afraid of failing. I've felt determination before. I've felt motivation. I've tried everything. Small changes. Drastic changes. Cutting out fat, cutting out sugars, calories...one at a time and all at the same time. Weight Watchers, calorie counting, just "being careful." I've tried giving myself a free day. I've done it ALL. It's never worked. What would make this time different? What must I feel to make sure that I stick with it this time?