I know, what kind of person thinks Mother's Day is a drag? Well, if you have ever experienced infertility or the intense wait for motherhood, then you know what I mean.
I have a wonderful mother, whom I adore. She is my everything. We weren't all that close growing up, but now that I'm older, I realize that she really did know what she was talking about. She wasn't as dumb as I thought she was, and she certainly wasn't out to ruin my life! Thanks, Mom! :)
However, while I am super thankful for my mother, this day brings a ton of sadness for me. Every year it gets a little harder. This year, I just wanted to crawl into bed and sleep the day away. But, instead, I had to go to church and care for the kids...of mothers....kids who not only were dressed up for Mom, but were busy making all sorts of crafts to take home to their Mommies. And I got to help! That might make me sound a little bitter, but for me, it is very tough to be around a bunch of kids who are so excited about their moms. All the moms at church received a long stem red rose. Not me! People would tell the women around me "Happy Mother's Day!" then they would look at me and just keep going...because I'm not a "mom" yet. One lady even had the guts to say "We'll tell you Happy Mothers Day in a year or two or three or whenever!" Ok, ok, I know she meant well, but OUCH! On Mother's Day, I find myself not only feeling extremely sad and lonely, but I find myself almost feeling angry towards all the mothers. All these young moms dressed nice, talking about what nice things their kids did for them....gag! Oh, and I must stay away from Facebook on this day!!! Nothing but posts about their breakfasts in bed, their flowers, and the cute little cards their kids hand colored for them.
I know I sound like a crab, but those who have been in these shoes can understand.
I also spend a lot of time on MD thinking about birthmoms...those women who so selflessly gave their child life and then surrendered that life to someone else who might otherwise not be able to celebrate such holidays. I feel like birthmoms are overlooked on MD, and they shouldn't be. They are the ultimate example of what a mother is! They put their child first, no matter what it costs them. I can't imagine what it must be like to be a birthmom on MD. I think about moms of international adoptions...women who have a child, but they have no clue where in the world (literally) their child lives, if they're happy and ok, or what kind of people they are growing into. I know this day must be excruciating for them.
Difference between me and them is, one day, I'll be a mom and MD will no longer be painful for me. For those birthmoms, MD will always be painful.
Anyway, I wish all the Mommies a Happy MD, and if you are waiting to be a mommy, or if you are a birthmom, know that you are not forgotten on this day!
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