Inspiration

I found this website through my friend Alison. She has begun losing weight, and it has really inspired me. You've got to check this guy out. He lost 120 lbs in less than a year, and he documented the entire journey. It amazes me that he had the guts to video himself. Why does that amaze me? Because I know how embarrassing it is to know that others notice your obesity. Anyway, this guy is so inspiring! I want to lose weight. I want to be healthy. I want to look good. I want to have a second wedding, and be the bride I wish I was the first time around. I want to raise healthy kids, and I want to be there for them when they are grown. I don't want diabetes. Or heart disease. Or high blood pressure. But I'm scared.

How many times have I said "this is it"? And I meant it, too. I've failed time and time again, and I'm afraid to try because I'm afraid of failing. I've felt determination before. I've felt motivation. I've tried everything. Small changes. Drastic changes. Cutting out fat, cutting out sugars, calories...one at a time and all at the same time. Weight Watchers, calorie counting, just "being careful." I've tried giving myself a free day. I've done it ALL. It's never worked. What would make this time different? What must I feel to make sure that I stick with it this time?

How can you have faith in God after he let you down?

I'm not really sure what made me think of this, but as I was drying my hair this morning I started thinking about why I still believe in God after all He has done "to" me.

I've been thinking a LOT lately. I have several friends who are non Christians, and God has really forced me to look in my Christian mirror. I've been asking myself, "are you really helping lead others to Christ? Are you doing what he wants you to? Or are you pushing people away?" That is a hard question to answer. Not because I don't know the answer, but because I do know the answer. I know I will never be perfect, but I also know that I have NOT been the Christian I should be. But, one thing people have asked me is how I can believe in God after he has made me go through infertility. He let me down. "Ask and you shall receive" didn't seem to work. Where was God? I pondered this this morning, and this is the best answer I can give.

1) I didn't become a Christian because of what I might get from it. I became a Christian because I love God, and I want to please Him, and I know what he did FOR me.
2)I KNOW (1000%) that God loves me, and He has a plan for me (Jeremiah 29:11)
3) Becoming a Christian does not guarantee happiness, and it definitely doesn't guarantee a perfect life. It simply means that when I go through the hard times, I have a much stronger hand holding me up.
4) I know that God uses bad situations for good. How, you ask? I'm not sure how he will use me yet, but I know that He will. The best way to help someone is to go through what they are going through. Maybe he'll use me to help someone who is struggling with infertility. Maybe he'll use me to minister to adoptees, or adoptive families, or simply to reflect the adoption that we have in him.
5) I know that God has a plan for me to be a mom. He might plan for us to have biological children later, he may not. Maybe I will be a mom through adoption. And, I don't know when I'll become a mom, or how. But I will. Just because I had a different idea of motherhood than He does, doesn't mean he left me.
6) God loves me. He took the time to create me. He knows everything about me. How can I not love that? I love God, not because he blesses me, but just because of who HE is.

I don't have it all figured out, but I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that God loves me, and you. Even when it doesn't always feel like it.

Mila's Daydreams

You have got to check out this blog! I think this is the cutest thing I have ever seen! These pictures of her baby girl are so incredibly creative, and she makes them out of blankets and other things she finds around the house. I love it!

Home Visit COMPLETE!

I am so incredibly happy to announce that the home visit is DONE! In fact, the homestudy altogether is DONE. At least our part. What a relief! Now, we just have to wait for the call from our social worker stating that we are approved and on the list! YAY!!!

The meeting was pleasant. Carolyn is very sweet and laid back. She walked around and looked at the house, checked for fire extinguishers and smoke alarms, and then asked a ton of questions about the house, our community, and we went over our service plan (which we created at the beginning of the process) to make sure nothing had changed. She was there only an hour and a half, so less time than I thought! After she left, we celebrated with lunch at our favorite Mexican restaurant. Brandon's Nana and Pop met us there since they were coming down to see his Dad in the hospital. After lunch, we all went to visit Jeff. I'm glad to say he's doing MUCH better. They finally figured everything out, and hopefully he'll get to come home today.

Downside of the home visit: we had to pay $3,000 which we had to put on a credit card. So, we still need lots of help! We still have t-shirts on sale! Just click on the adoption bug widget on the right side of the screen! You can also make a donation to our Paypal account!

Thank you!!!

Wild Weekend

I had planned to spend the entire weekend cleaning and preparing for our home visit on Thursday. But, as we all know, plans rarely go as planned. I got up bright and early Saturday morning and started ripping the house apart. I'm talking scrubbing floors, dusting ceiling fans and vents, and wiping baseboards...and much, much more. Then I got a call from Brandon. His dad had gone to the hospital on Friday (which we already knew), but it was worse than they thought. They originally thought it was just a kidney infection. But after some tests, they found out he was septic, which means he has a massive infection that has gotten into the bloodstream and has moved throughout the body. He had some injections in his back a month ago, and they think it's from that. So, I decided to go up to the hospital yesterday so Brandon's mom wouldn't have to sit there alone, and to give her a break. I ended up staying all day. Brandon came up there after work, and we went to Logan's for dinner before we came home and crashed. Needless to say, I didn't finish everything. I did get the most important things done, though. And today I haven't felt too great so I've been working on laundry and laying on the couch most of the day. I'm hoping it's just stress and nerves about the home visit. I know there's nothing to worry about, but I guess it's just hard not to stress about it. It kind of makes it all official. And, once we complete the home visit, we officially start the waiting game, which is not going to be easy for me. But, I am sure it will all work out. Please say a prayer for my father-in-law if you think about it.

Oh yeah, and I'm blogging on Brandon's Grandmother's laptop that she let him borrow (well, rather, she needed him to fix some things on it), and let me just say....I need one of these! There's nothing like blogging while laying on the couch with my blankie! :)

My Husband ROCKS!

My husband rocks because he respects me. Lately, I've come to see just how truly blessed I am with Brandon. I've been having to watch some of my best friends go through some things a woman should never have to go through, including divorce, abuse, and just plain misery.

I am so incredibly thankful that God gave me a husband that truly loves and respects me. He has never once said a harsh word to me (that doesn't mean he's never hurt my feelings, but he has never raised his voice AT me), he has never put me down and made me feel less than beautiful, and he most certainly has never laid an unloving hand on me. Don't get me wrong, our actions toward each other aren't always loving, but I am one lucky girl to not have to worry about being abused or mistreated. Talk about something I take for granted!

Love Dare Day 3

Love is Not Selfish

"Be devoted to one another in brotherly love; give preference to one another in honor." -Romans 12:10

You cannot love someone if you have selfish motives. We are born selfish. It's a natural sin, because we are human. It doesn't make us bad people, but it takes a lot of effort to not be selfish in our thinking. I know it does for me. We should always put the needs and desires of the other person before our own. Ideally, if both parties are putting the other first, think about the blessings that would come!

Today's Dare:

Purchase something for your spouse out of kindness; something to let them know you were thinking of them.