Tuesday, April 19, 2011

We're On The Web!

We've been in the process of having our profile listed on the Bethany website as a waiting family. We've been on the waiting list since September, but that just means that our physical profile book was available in Bethany's office for viewing. Being listed on the website means it can be viewed nationwide. We are hoping that this will help more birthmoms see our profile, thus shortening our wait time. As a Bethany policy, being listed on the website also means that we must be willing to travel out of state to receive our baby, since parents in other states can see our profile. Therefore, we could be receiving a referral from anywhere in the country! This is exciting, but stressful at the same time. Adoption laws are different in each state, and if we get a referral from another state, it's a possibility that we will need to travel to that state for up to 2 weeks before bringing the baby home (FYI: You can't leave the state with a child until the court says they are yours!). And, any out of state travel expenses are not included in our adoption fees. BOOO. But, we will do whatever is necessary to bring our little one home, and we trust that God WILL provide when that time comes!!

Check out our online profile here!

My Best Friend's Wedding

My best friend got married on Sunday! I am so excited for her!

It was a CRAZY busy weekend. Jennifer and her baby girl, Abby, stayed the night with me the night before the wedding. That was a blast! We were up bright and early Sunday morning to get ready for the big day! I even did her hair for her, and I must say, I am quite impressed with myself considering I have NEVER done anyone else's hair before. Ever.

Michael and Jennifer, I love you so very much! Jenn, you have been the best friend I have had in a long time, and I am so thankful for you! Michael, I am so glad Jennifer found you. I can see how happy she is. You better take care of her! :-) I'm always here for you guys if you need anything! CONGRATULATIONS!!!!

Friday, April 8, 2011

When You're Angry at God

Why do we really get angry with God? And is it ok? I know I've touched on it before, but this is such a heavy subject, and one which I know plenty about. I think we all do. I have struggled with anger toward God for quite some time, and I still do from time to time. As excited as I am about our adoption, and as anxious as I am to meet our little one, I still have moments where I can't help but feel angry toward God. I still grieve the loss that comes with infertility. And sometimes I feel guilty for it, as if being sad about infertility means I'm ungrateful for the little one coming our way. And that isn't the case at all. I can honestly say that I look forward to having a birthmom in our life, and teaching our child what love truly means. But, that doesn't take away the sting of knowing that I can't carry my child; of knowing I'll never feel him or her kick or move. And, sometimes, I still feel angry. Especially when I hear that someone else I know is pregnant. It may be someone who is unwed or didn't want kids. It may be someone who I think doesn't deserve a child for various reasons. It may be someone who got pregnant as soon as they tried. And, it may be someone who has struggled with infertility and finally got pregnant. That last one is the hardest for me, because you'd think that I would be happy for them, seeing as I know how hard it is, but I'm not...I want to know why it worked for them, but not me! Anyway, my point here is that it is ok, and quite normal to be angry with God. Even Jeremiah was mad at God! (Jeremiah 20). And let's not forget Job! The tricky part is how we handle that anger. I fully believe in talking to God about our feelings....be honest. He knows, anyway, so what's the big deal? But, while you're letting God know how angry you are, try to keep in mind that He is still God. He is still on the throne. Don't curse him. Forgive Him, and move on as best you can. Trust me, I know how hard that is. But my anger toward God is finally starting to draw me closer to Him, because if He still loves me after I've been so angry with Him, then I truly know that there is nothing I can do to make Him stop loving me. Check out this post about Jeremiah.

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Project Nursery has Commenced!

This weekend, we finally started painting the nursery!! This is such an exciting project for me! I have been dreaming for YEARS about how I would decorate my baby's nursery. I always knew I wanted something unique...definitely not a solid color. When we started the adoption process, I went back and forth debating on what to do. Decorate the nursery a neutral color? Not decorate at all and wait until the baby comes home? When should I start? We finally decided to go ahead and start decorating it while we were waiting for several reasons. For one thing, it is theraputic for me...I need something to keep me busy, and it helps me know that there will be a baby in there....eventually. And mainly because once the baby comes home, the last thing we want to do is spend our time decorating. We want to soak up every second holding and loving our little one as possible.

We chose to do a light green color, and we will be adding a chair rail and doing stripes on the bottom half of the walls with the light green and a slightly darker green. Hopefully it turns out to look the way it looks in my head!

This is the first coat, minus some cutting in at the top. The lighting makes it look more lime green than it is, but the next picture looks more like the actual color.

Brandon hard at work :) I am loving the color!

I'll share more pics as we make progress!