Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Dear Baby

Dear Baby,

It's Mommy. Daddy and I have been going through many tests lately for you. We long for you, but God hasn't given you to us yet, but I know He will soon. One day we will get to meet you and see your precious face. Until then, we are trying very hard and trusting in the Lord to bring you into our lives. We already love you more than you can imagine. I can't imagine how much I'll love you when I actually meet you! We just moved into a wonderful new home. We pray that we will be able to bring you home to see it soon. I hope you'll like the room we have set aside for you. It is beautiful, and will be even more beautiful once we can paint it and decorate it just for you. I can't wait to pick out names one day. We also have two little kitties at home that want to play with you. I hope you like them. I often imagine myself rocking you to sleep in your room while looking at the full-length huge crescent window. I think about the day that we'll bring you home from the hospital and see the "It's a Boy!" or "It's a Girl!" sign in the yard. I cannot wait for that day. I dream about watching your Daddy play with you and take naps with you on the couch. I wonder what you'll look like...will you have my curly hair? Your Daddy's smile? I can't wait to see you and hear you laugh for the first time. I hope and pray God brings you to us soon. I cannot figure out how I can miss someone so much that I have never even met. But I do. We love you. Hold on just a little longer...God is faithful.

Mom and Dad

Saturday, August 8, 2009

Digging Deeper

I have really felt empty lately, and I have figured out why (as if it is a shocker). I have drifted so far away from God lately. With Brandon's work schedule, we aren't able to go to church together on Sunday mornings so I have been laying out. For like 3 months. On top of that, when we DO get to go, we have ONE option for a Sunday School class. We tried that one for quite a while, and, even though everyone in there knows us because we keep their kids in the preschool, after we stopped going, not ONCE did anyone say they had missed us...not a word. Who wants to go to a class where they don't even notice you're there because there are like 30 people there? I really wish TR would do small groups throughout the week as opposed to Sunday School. I am torn. We came back to TR because we love it, it's home. It's comfortable. But it seems dead now. No one wants to put forth the effort to make changes. They don't listen to the members' thoughts. They won't try anything new or different. Numbers continue to fall. There's pretty much nothing there for us. So, we're back to struggling with the idea of visiting other churches again. Sigh.

Anyway, I have been listening to Kari Jobe lately (if you've never heard her, you should check her out.) She for some reason has really had an impact on me. Listening to her and watching her makes me want to dig deeper. She's the type that when you watch her, you go "I want what she has." I have never been good at studying the Word. I HATE reading, and honestly it feels pointless because most of the time I don't understand what I'm reading. I stink at the history and geography, much less the people! I am desperate for a bible study group where I can really dig in to the Word, but it seems I have no options. I don't know where to start. But, for tonight, I will start with some serious talking with God and asking for forgiveness for putting him on the back burner.