Friday, July 30, 2010

PS22 Chorus

You have got to check this out! I came across them while playing around on Youtube. This teacher, "Mr. B", started this chorus program in an inner city New York elementary school, and it is a perfect example of just how important the arts are to education. He has given these kids something to love and to pour their hearts into. He's encouraged them, and given them confidence and something to be proud of. And you can see it radiating on their faces. They LOVE it! This is what teaching is about, and that's what makes me want to work with kids. I have no doubt that we'll see some of these kids on the Billboards one day.

Check out their other videos, too!

Thursday, July 22, 2010

New fundraiser!

Check out our new adoption fundraiser! We're selling some adorable t-shirts through Adoption Bug! We get a great commission on each one sold, so hop on over to our site and purchase yours! And your mom's. And sister's. And your kids'. Well, you get the idea. :) Thank you in advance!

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Going Home

Has your faith ever been tested? Like, truly tested, as in "why-do-I-need-God-when-He's-only-letting-me-down" kind of tested?

Mine has. I always thought of myself as having this unwaivering faith that could never be shaken. Not so. Infertility is one surefire way to have your faith all shaken up. Throughout the journey, I've tried to be faithful to God, but I have to admit, I get angry. I get sad. I get disappointed. And I feel like God has let me down. And I've let him know it, too. See, I believe that God is a big boy, and he can handle me being mad at him. Plus, it's not like He doesn't know what I'm feeling anyway, so why not let Him know it? I've had several moments where I've just all out screamed at Him for letting me down. And, I believe that it's ok to do that.

Lately, I've really struggled with my faith. So has Brandon. We've had so many questions, a lot of them being "why" questions. Why can't we have a baby? Why does He allow people to have babies that don't deserve them and don't even want them? What about the lady who left her 3-month-old in the car for 6 hours in 100 degree heat while she went into a bar? Or the lady whose 4 kids were taken away because they were covered in feces and living in a house with 3 dead dogs? Or the lady who just flat-out didn't feed her child, and starved him to death? When is it going to be MY turn? I would take much better care of those babies! Why is it so easy for some? Why does it seem like everyone EXCEPT me is pregnant? Why, God? WHY WHY WHY?

Needless to say, I've kind of turned my back on God. I haven't been to church in months. I haven't prayed (except when voicing my anger, or begging for a baby), and I certainly haven't been in His word. Don't get me wrong, I still love God...its just that my actions aren't showing it.

The thing that I adore about God is that sometimes he just sits, like a parent, and watches us have our temper us make fools of ourselves. I can't help but to imagine him sitting there, smiling as if to say, "Are you done yet?" And then, when we are finally done kicking and screaming, he opens his arms and gives us a big hug. That's where I'm at now....falling back into His arms. And it's such a great feeling.

I've been doing a Bible study titled, "Lord, Change My Attitude." It's been a much needed kick in the pants. The entire first week focused on complaining. The main thing I realized is that complaining isn't always a verbal thing. We can complain through our attitudes and actions as well. Boy, have I been complaining! I also realized that my complaining is an insult to God. I've been telling Him that all of the blessings He's given me aren't enough....I want more. But, that's just not how God operates. So, in moving forward in the healing process, I am realizing that while it's ok to be angry, hurt, and confused, and while it's ok to talk to God about it and be honest, it's not OK to just walk out on Him. He wants me to trust Him, even when things don't make sense. I know, elementary stuff, huh?

Dear Lord,
I know that I have not been in your will lately. I have been so angry, and so caught up in what what I want, and in what I don't have, that I have forgotten all about the many blessings you have given me. Forgive me. Cleanse me. Give me a new heart, and a new faith. I am still hurting, but now I realize that I need YOUR peace and comfort to get me through. I literally can NOT do it without you. Help me to heal. Give me peace and comfort in your Word, and in your timing. I know that your plan is better than mine, even if it doesn't feel like it sometimes. Thank you for loving me in the midst of my anguish. I'm not done being angry or hurt yet, but I know that if I lean on you, you will walk me through, and you and I will be so much stronger than we were before. I love you.

Sunday, July 18, 2010


Yesterday we celebrated my sweet Daddy's 71st birthday. We gave him his first birthday party EVER! I know, we couldn't believe he had never had a birthday party! But, I guess they just didn't do those things in the 30s-40s :) Anyway, happy birthday, Daddy! I love you!

Daddy playing with the pinata goodies! This family is a tad crazy. Just a tad, though.

Friday, July 16, 2010

The weekend is gone and it isn't even here yet!

That's how it always seems, doesn't it? Last weekend FLEW by, and I'm sure this one will, too.
Tomorrow, we're celebrating my sweet Daddy's 71st birthday! He has never ever had a birthday party (not ONE!), so we're throwing him a surprise one!! My Daddy is the best man that exists, and I hope he enjoys it :)

I'm hoping for some rest time Sunday. I am sure I'll find something that needs to be done, but I would love some quiet time to catch up on rest...haha.

What are your plans for the weekend?

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

This article just came to my attention:

I'm just wondering what others think of this new law? Should it be up to the government to decide what race your adopted child should be? Is this a good law? Is it good for the children involved?
Personally, I disagree with the law. Brandon and I have chosen to adopt within our race, and it isn't because we're racist. We simply don't feel that we can provide the complex diverse environment that an interracial family needs. I don't feel that we can give a child of another race what they need mentally and emotionally, and the last thing I want is for my child to feel out of place. And no, I don't believe that makes me less of a Christian.
What do you think?

New Reading Material

I just added 21 (yes, you read that right....21) new blogs to my reader. I am so excited to read these blogs! They are all blogs about adoption. I googled "adoption blogs" and found a list of the most popular ones. Some are by AP (Adoptive Parents), some by BP(Birthparents) and some are by adoptees themselves. Take a look at my list if you're interested in getting a full idea of adoption from all 3 sides of the spectrum.

Monday, July 12, 2010

A little of this and a little of that

This is kind of a random post, but I need to get back into blogging...I've neglected it lately. Since the adoption has taken over everything, it didn't fail to take over the blog, too....and I, for the most part, don't have much news about that. So, I'm turning it back into a life/adoption blog...I know, that entire paragraph is confusing!

Anyway, if you didn't notice, I changed the web address. It is now Yes, I am aware that I was just now talking about how the adoption has taken over. I wasn't exaggerating! The reason I changed it was because I have been advertising the blog, as well as our Youtube channel. I'm really not that big into sharing my entire life on the internet, but if it helps our chances of finding a birthmom, I'm all systems go. It was a safety decision to change the web address since the old one had our last name in it. The agency has instructed us to be very careful about the information we offer...last names as well as any specifics about where we live.

As far as the adoption, I'm heartbroken right now. We have made the decision to put the process on hold for 3-4 months. I know to most people that doesn't sound like much, but to me, it's a lifetime. It was a financial decision. Since we have to pay $3K when they do the home visit, we wanted to get a couple of other things paid off first. We are having to "charge" ALL of the $3K, so the less payments we have when we do it, the faster we can pay it off. I feel peaceful about the decision, but I still don't like it!

On a positive note, I had an excellent weekend. On Saturday, I went to Nashville Shores with my best friend, Jennifer. I think it's so incredibly funny how God works. It's funny to me how he brought us across one another's paths again after so many years, and we've turned out to be the best of friends. I am so blessed to have her. (Love ya, Jennifer!) We had to leave Nashville Shores early due to a storm (booo!), so we met Brandon for dinner at Cheddar's, and then we went shopping at Target! I am so excited to have someone who shares my enthusiasm for Target (and their buggies!)! Needless to say, I was out before my head hit the pillow Saturday night.

On Sunday, I met my friend, Stephanie, for coffee. Stephanie and I met at our adoption training. I am so glad to have her to talk to. Some people try to understand, and then some are just ignorant, but it is so nice to have a fellow waiting adoptive Mommy who truly understands how I feel.

What did you do over the weekend?

Friday, July 2, 2010