Dear Birthmother

I am currently reading a book called "Dear Birthmother." I just started it, and already it's had me in tears. Definitely heart-wrenching. It's really got me thinking about our future birthmother. I love her so much already. I cannot imagine the amount of strength it must take to not only choose life for your baby, but to carry your child for nine months knowing that you will go into the hospital, go through labor, and walk out empty handed. I know it will be hard for me to walk into a hospital not being pregnant and leave with a baby, but to know that baby's movements....to be literally connected to them for nine months, and then have to hand them over....wow. What do you say to that?

And while I'm talking about birthparents, I can't help but wonder something. When an adoptive parent is talking to someone about their adoption, specifically the birthmom in this case, where does that person get the idea that THAT would be the perfect time to make comments like "Haven't they ever heard of birth control?" or "She should have kept her legs closed." I think I've mentioned this before, but this is a comment I've encountered several times, and it gets under my skin in a hurry. I try not to get angry with people (or at least not let them see it) because (a) it won't do any good, and (b) I try to remember that they are mostly just uneducated about adoption in general, and that I was too at one point (Not that I know it all now by any means). So, what I say to those who feel that way is that this is the woman that is going to make having a family a possibility for us. Without her sacrifice and selflessness, we may never get that opportunity. Also, it doesn't matter to me how or why she got into her situation. I've done my fair share of stupid things, and I could have been in her shoes myself at one point. I've done things that I am not proud of, which I won't get into in a public blog, but don't have a problem talking about. I think about what would have happened if I had gotten pregnant at 19 when I found out that my boyfriend was a convicted felon and was in jail. It was a stupid decision, but I easily could have been in that situation. Sadly, most of us could have. So, don't judge someone until you know their story. Actually, don't even do it then. Just love them with the love of Jesus. They need that more than they need a finger in their face.

Ok, I'm off my soapbox now :)

50 years!

On March 12th, we celebrated Mom and Dad's 50th Wedding Anniversary! They are the most adorable couple I have ever known, even if I am partial. They still hold hands and everything! :) I pray that my marriage is half as successful as theirs has been! Congrats, mom and Dad! I love you!

No more training!

We have officially completed our adoption training! No more Tuesday evening drives to Columbia! That being said, we have both really enjoyed training, and we've learned a lot. We've had many conversations about things we never would have thought about. Last night, we had the opportunity to hear a birthmother speak. She was a beautiful young lady, my age. Her story was truly heart-wrenching and I had to fight back tears. It is so humbling to hear her side of the story. I won't share her story because it isn't mine to share, but it was very eye-opening to hear what the birthmothers really go through, even though each birthmother is different. It is humbling to know that a woman will choose life and experience so many different emotions so that we can have a family. Wow.

We have a few more fundraisers in mind, but we won't start them until after our yard sale Easter Weekend! I have my hands full with fundraisers right now. We are praying hard that we will be able to turn our paperwork in very, very soon!

Don't forget! Our Jim N Nick's fundraiser is Next Thursday, the 25th! Hope to see you there!

Dear baby

Dear Baby,

I think ab0ut you every single day, but today is especially hard. I've been crazy busy getting things together for various fundraisers and our big yard sale. But in the midst of running around like a mad woman, I can help but wonder about you. I ran to Target to grab a gallon of milk, and couldn't resist conveniently walking through the baby department. I want you in my arms so badly. Today as I lay on the couch watching TV, I wished so badly that you were napping on my chest. And when I was sitting in your room sorting through yard sale stuff, I thought about how one day I'll be sitting in that very floor playing with you, or rocking you to sleep, and that day cannot come fast enough. It sounds silly, but those are the things I look forward to the most. Daddy can't wait to take you to the zoo! He loves it there (and just between you and me, I think it's his true home! :P )
We are beginning to make plans for your room, and we're looking through baby name books. We can't wait to have you home where you belong. We love you so much already.

Love,
Mommy and Daddy

When family doesn't support.....

My heart is heavy. I feel like I have a thousand pounds on my shoulders right now. When you start learning about adoption, they have material on how to handle it when family doesn't support your adoption decision. I skipped that part. Why? Because I thought our family would be different. I truly thought that our entire family would be excited, happy, and supportive. I was wrong. Most of them are, but there are a few members that don't support our decision. I can understand that it's their job to worry about how we'll afford a baby and whatnot, but it's also their job to support and love us whether we make the decisions they want us to make or not. As if it weren't hard enough knowing they don't support us, they have said some hurtful things like "you need to have your own," and "this child won't be your own." First of all (without getting on my soapbox), this child WILL be ours, even though it won't have Brandon's eyes or my nose. It will be the child God has planned for us. He or she is just coming through a different journey. Secondly, saying that we NEED to have our own makes me feel like I have let everyone down, like it's my fault because of what my body doesn't do. That hurts worse than anything. I feel like they're upset with me because of something I cannot help. I also fear that these members won't love the child, or if we have a biological child later that they'll treat the 2 differently. I can't allow my child to grow up feeling inadequate because of where they came from.

Anyway, I am asking for the help of other adoptive parents....did you go through this with your families? How did it turn out? How did you handle it?

This is exhausting!

The adoption, that is! I don't think I was quite prepared for how much work we would have to do to raise the money. But that's ok! I am up for the challenge! (ask me again in a week. That answer may change.)

We have been CRAZY busy doing several fundraisers, some have been successful. Others, not so much. We have COMPLETED the paperwork! Yep! That's right, it's DONE. Now I just need 2K to turn it in! We desperately need your help!

Carol is still offering the Mary Kay fundraiser! We are hoping to get 10 sets sold, and we need 7 more to reach that goal. So go buy your Satin Hands Pampering set, put my name in the comments, and not only do you help bring our baby home, but you get a fantastic gift for yourself or a loved one! (Mother's Day is knocking on your door!)
http://www.facebook.com/l.php?u=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.marykay.com%2Fcarolstevens%2Fdefault.aspx&h=a57dd7849ae34e804be41359fdccd594

I still have greeting cards for sale! Let me know what you need and I can custom make them for you!

And our biggest fundraiser yet....Jim N Nicks Spirit Night!! On Thursday, March 25 from 5-9pm we will be at the Smyrna location. You'll see us up front with a big bowl (and maybe a cardboard sign that says "Will work for a baby." ). All you have to do is come eat, and put your receipt in the bowl, and check out our silent auction! We are working on compiling some great items. So far I have a massage, some homemade things, a pair of Titans tickets, and I'm picking up a donation this evening, but I'm not sure what it is yet. Stay tuned! I will post the list of items online before the auction (hopefully the 15th if we have everything by then. If not, the 22nd) and you can bid through email, and the items will be on display at Jim N Nicks on the 25th, which is where the auction will end! (Winners will be notified within a few days and we will work out delivery/pickup). So, come on out and get some grub! :)

Thank you to all who have donated already!

Happy Tuesday!

"Good morning, Daddy! What's for breakfast?"

This is a pic Brandon took as he made his coffee this morning. Apparently we had 2 hungry kitties!