Sunday, March 21, 2010

Dear Birthmother

I am currently reading a book called "Dear Birthmother." I just started it, and already it's had me in tears. Definitely heart-wrenching. It's really got me thinking about our future birthmother. I love her so much already. I cannot imagine the amount of strength it must take to not only choose life for your baby, but to carry your child for nine months knowing that you will go into the hospital, go through labor, and walk out empty handed. I know it will be hard for me to walk into a hospital not being pregnant and leave with a baby, but to know that baby's be literally connected to them for nine months, and then have to hand them What do you say to that?

And while I'm talking about birthparents, I can't help but wonder something. When an adoptive parent is talking to someone about their adoption, specifically the birthmom in this case, where does that person get the idea that THAT would be the perfect time to make comments like "Haven't they ever heard of birth control?" or "She should have kept her legs closed." I think I've mentioned this before, but this is a comment I've encountered several times, and it gets under my skin in a hurry. I try not to get angry with people (or at least not let them see it) because (a) it won't do any good, and (b) I try to remember that they are mostly just uneducated about adoption in general, and that I was too at one point (Not that I know it all now by any means). So, what I say to those who feel that way is that this is the woman that is going to make having a family a possibility for us. Without her sacrifice and selflessness, we may never get that opportunity. Also, it doesn't matter to me how or why she got into her situation. I've done my fair share of stupid things, and I could have been in her shoes myself at one point. I've done things that I am not proud of, which I won't get into in a public blog, but don't have a problem talking about. I think about what would have happened if I had gotten pregnant at 19 when I found out that my boyfriend was a convicted felon and was in jail. It was a stupid decision, but I easily could have been in that situation. Sadly, most of us could have. So, don't judge someone until you know their story. Actually, don't even do it then. Just love them with the love of Jesus. They need that more than they need a finger in their face.

Ok, I'm off my soapbox now :)

1 comment:

FauxClaud said...

Thank you for simply realizing that the only differnce between a mother who gets pregnant before she plans and any other mother is simply.. nothing. So many it is true, you could have been one of us if only one small thing (usually just that one sperm) had turned out gone the other way...

While you are waiting, I invite you to read deeper about the birthmother experince on my blog.