Come support us at our Jim N Nicks Spirit Nite!

Who loves BBQ??? I know I do! We are having a Spirit Nite at Jim N Nick's BBQ in Smyrna on March 25th, and we'll have a table set up in the front with a big bowl. All you have to do is show up, eat, and put your receipt in the bowl on your way out! We'll get 10% of the receipts in the bowl! So, go ahead, have dessert, too! :-)

Here are the details!

What: Spirit Nite Adoption Fundraiser
Where: Jim N Nick's BBQ
523 Sam Ridley Pkwy West
Smyrna, TN 37167
Date: Thursday, March 25th
Time: 5-9pm
Instructions: Tell everyone you know. Come eat. Put receipt in bowl. That's it! Bring the whole family!
http://www.jimnnicks.com

We are possibly going to be having a silent auction as well, depending on if we get enough donations. Got something you can donate? Or services you can provide? Let me know!

Hope to see you there!

Coffee Drinkers wanted!

Are you a coffee drinker? If you are, then here is another way you can help us bring baby home!! Go to our coffee store website and buy a bag of coffee! It's that simple! For every bag we sell, we get $5! That $5 adds up fast, so go ahead...get your coffee fix now!

http://www.justlovecoffee.com/Swindellfamily

Oh! And a special THANK YOU to Katie and Sarah for spreading the word on their blogs! Sarah has even offered to donate 20% of her Avon sales to us!! So shoot on over to her site and get ya some sassy stuff! :)

Training Session 1: Complete!

I'm feeling a little better about things today. We had our first training session last night, and it was really good. We both got a lot out of it. For one thing, we learned that adopted children need to be disciplined differently than biological children. I never would have thought of that. We learned a lot about bonding with the child, and what they call "attachment parenting." One thing that really stuck was when they said that every couple at some point or another will experience delays, and that those are just part of our journey. They reminded us that these delays are opportunities for us to educate ourselves and our loved ones, and that we should keep our eyes on the end result, which WILL be a baby. So, although I am still feeling frustrated that I don't have 2K to cough up, I feel a little more motivated to get out there and work to get it and less apt to just give up. I am learning to let God have control of our journey, which is VERY difficult for me. So, I am focused on trusting God and doing what I can to raise some money. Suggestions are welcome :)

Thank you for all of your prayers, love and encouragement.

A little distraught

This is one of those days. I am feeling very...anxious. Distraught. Hopeless. It seems like we will never have the finances to go through with this adoption. We have to come up with 2K just to turn in the paperwork. They make it sound like it's sooo affordable to adopt. Yeah right. Not when you have to have a completed homestudy to apply for grants, and the home study itself costs $5600, but the loans available have a 10% interest rate, which means it would be another car payment until we got our adoption tax credit, which we don't get until the year the adoption is finalized. Yeah. It's not as easy as they make it sound. And I'm feeling like we'll never come up with that 2K, much less the total 12K. It's ridiculous. A home study should NOT cost $5600. Period. Anyway, I'm done ranting for the moment. Someone remind me that God is in control, and will provide....please?

Are we crazy or not???

Well, we survived our psychological tests last night. Whew! Glad I can mark that one off our list! We won't have the results for a few weeks, but hopefully neither of us will be committed :)

The psych test was sort of stressful. It is very nerve wracking to have a strange man pick your brain apart and ask you such personal questions. But, it wasn't too horrible. It consisted of a 45 minute interview individually, and 2 written tests. Brandon took the tests while I was interviewed, then we switched. The tests were easy. The first one was 300-some-odd statements like "My drug use has caused problems at home," to which we circled an answer from False to Very True. The 2nd test was a series of words and situations, and we had to choose the one that appealed most to us. That one was easy. I hope our home study is that easy.

Bite your tongue

I've always heard adoptive parents complain about the things people say or ask. To be honest, I always thought they were overly sensitive. But, as a future adoptive parent myself now, I have realized how they feel. Somehow, the process makes you sensitive. I already feel like a mom. My baby is out there, somewhere...I already love our baby and feel protective of him or her. So, just for the heck of it, these are some of the comments/questions we've received so far.

"How much is your baby going to cost you?" As if our baby was a special order product from Walmart.

"Oh, I'm glad you're adopting within the U.S. We need to take care of our own kids instead of everyone elses." Foreign kids are just as much God's children as American children, and they need a home just as much. Seriously. And definitely don't say this unless you are adopting, fostering, or sponsoring a child in America.

"You're gonna adopt and then you'll get pregnant! Just wait and see!" Adoption is not a cure for infertility. And if it were....that would be a bad thing???

"Aren't you afraid the birthmother will come back one day and take the baby?" Um, no.

"What if something is wrong with the baby?" I didn't know biological children came with a satisfaction guarantee.

"Heard anything yet?" No. Stop asking. You'll know when we do....we'll be shouting it from the rooftops.

When we tell someone we're adopting, do not say, "Awwww, I'm so sorry. You can't have kids?" Just don't.

"I could never give up my baby." or, better yet, "Don't these women know how to keep their legs closed?" I mean, REALLY??????? It doesn't matter how they got into their situation. All that matters is that birthmoms are faced with the hardest decision they will ever have to make. They love their babies just as much as you love yours. Maybe they made a mistake, maybe pills failed, maybe they were raped or molested...you don't know their story, so stop assuming you do. I love our birthmom already, and I admire her for making a decision that I don't know that I would be strong enough to make.

Long story short, if a friend or loved one is adopting, get educated, and be sensitive. This is her baby you're talking about.

My sweet husband

He brought these to me at work yesterday :) Isn't he awesome? I think so.

"Give me a hand"

We need YOU! (yes, you!)

My dear friend, Carol, has graciously offered to do a "Give me a hand" fundraiser through Mary Kay! All you have to do, is go to her site (below), order any Satin Hands Pampering Set, and put my name in the comments section! When you do, she will donate $13 for each set that you order! It's that easy! She'll take care of the shipping for you! So, give us a hand and help us bring our baby home!!

http://www.marykay.com/carolstevens/default.aspx

Better late than never...buy a greeting card and support adoption!

Ok so I promised this a week or so ago and am just now getting to it. Here are some samples of my handmade greeting cards for sale. Stock up and have all your cards for the year!

$2.00 each
Customizable! Need a different occasion? Specific colors? Just let me know!

Oh the papers.....

We just got home from our adoption orientation, and I must say, this picture is pretty much exactly how I feel. I am completely overwhelmed, but mostly in a good way. Our orientation lasted all day long (8:30am-4:30pm). We got lots of information, and we have tons to talk about. We also got to hear several adoptive parents speak, which was wonderful. They were wonderful and very realistic, telling us not only about the great, fun, exciting things, but also about the hard, trying times that adoption is sure to bring along with it. We have an entire folder full of forms, instructions, letters to write, documents to compile, and so on. We have to have background checks, fingerprints, drug testing, physicals, vaccinations, get the pets up to date on vaccinations, and yada yada yada. It's a LOT of papers.

One of the things that I learned today was that every single couple goes through pretty much the same emotions. We all have, at one point or another, the same questions, same concerns, same frustrations, and same hurts. Every journey is different, but it's nice to know that we aren't the only ones who wonder if we'll REALLY feel like the baby is ours. Brandon struggles with that more than I do. I have always had a big heart for kids, since I grew up living with foster kids. But Brandon didn't. He always thought that we would throw out the pills, get pregnant and it would be that easy. He's having a hard time coming to terms with it, and he sort of feels like this is a last resort, for lack of better words. The excitement hasn't quite settled in for him like it has for me, but I've always known I would have a hard time getting pregnant, so I had years to prepare my mind for this. So, if you think about it, say a prayer that God would give him peace and soften his heart. He knows this is what God wants for us, but he still feels frustrated. He still wonders why so many terrible parents can reproduce like bunnies, but we can't.

On a lighter note, we are going to Babies R Us tomorrow to look at some furniture and bedding! Who knew that baby bedding could be so exciting???? I know, I'm a little early on it, but that's me...I get ahead of myself when I get excited. I always have to be doing something...I hate waiting until the last minute. So, with this, I want to get started and take it slow and thoroughly enjoy preparing our baby's space so it is absolutely perfect! We have so much to do around the house before we bring him or her home, so who cares if I'm jumping ahead? I've waited for 3 years to plan for a baby, and by golly, I'm gonna enjoy it!!

God bless!!

I love rollercoasters...but not this one.

WOW! It has definitely been a crazy few weeks. But, I finally got a car! I am SO incredibly happy to have that whole ordeal over with. I was so anxious to have the whole wreck behind me that I bought my car on Friday. At 9am. In the snow. And let me tell ya, car shopping is NOT fun when you HAVE to have a car. Side note: isn't it funny how here in America, if our every day luxuries are shaken up, we can't seem to function???

So, what did I get? I got a 2010 Nissan Rogue....and I love love love it! I was going to buy used, but, long story short, I got the brand new one WITH a sunroof and bose stereo for about $1,000 more than the used one :) So I'm happy with that.

Now, onto more exciting things. We go to our orientation this Friday! (I think I may have mentioned that before...I can't help it!) I am extremely excited! But I am also extremely nervous. When you first decide to adopt, the majority of feelings are excitement. But, as you begin to prepare for the homestudy, other feelings set in. Here are some random thoughts I've had creeping into my mind.

• What if they don't like us?
• Are we "perfect" enough? How "perfect" do they expect us to be?
• Should I be blatantly honest, or only tell them what they "need" to know?
• What do I do to prepare for the home study visit?
• Will they think we aren't suitable because Brandon has struggled with depression?

Some are silly, I know. But I know they are going to pick apart every inch of our lives, and that scares me. We aren't perfect, and for some reason, I feel the need to be for this. Yikes! Wish us luck!