Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Common sense vs. obedience

As I said in my last post, I have been having the nagging feeling lately that I should go back to school. I have had several friends tell me of different ways of doing it (unfortunately I don't see any of those ways working for us right now since none of them pay enough for us to live on) and they are all really encouraging me to do it. I see people go through school all the time, and several of them work full time, but it just seems like it would be impossible for ME to do it. I keep thinking, "I'll just end up quitting again." Or, "I'll make myself sick by doing too much." I have never really been the self-motivated type, so to think of working full time during the day and going to school three or four nights a week is terrifying! Lately, though, God has been teaching me a lot about myself. He has shown me a lot about me as a wife, as a Christian, as a friend, and as a person. And one of the things that He has shown me is that I am NOT meant to work in an office for the rest of my life! I have a pretty good job. It doesn't pay that great, but I have GREAT benefits, and I like the people I work with, my supervisor is awesome, and I pretty much get to do what I want. It's an easy, laid-back job. No one breathes down my neck. I like working here. But I am so bored I could scream. This is NOT my purpose! This is NOT what God has called me to do! I am not using my God-given abilities! And that, my friend, is a lousy feeling. It stinks when you know exactly what you were meant to do, AND you love to do that very thing, but it seems so far out of reach. So, I am in prayer. I am praying that God will guide me and open doors, because I know that he has given me these gifts for a reason, and it isn't so that I can waste them by sitting at a computer all day! So whether it be opening my own daycare in my home (which doesn't require a degree), or becoming a school teacher, I pray that God will guide me and give me clarification, and the guts to obey Him, even if I am afraid. See, obeying God isn't always easy. Sure, it's easy to do the simple things like getting baptized, reading the Bible, or going to church. But it's not so easy when God can't speak to you audibly and the answer isn't written down in the Bible. It isn't so easy when the economy is falling apart and people are losing homes left and right, and you are afraid that if you quit your job you'll be next. It IS easy to put "common sense" before obeying God.

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