Wednesday, February 4, 2009


I am feeling so weary lately. It seems as though it is one thing after another, and I can't keep up! I am working on my relationship with God...trying to make time to read every day, praying more, etc. And I suppose it is a good thing, because God is giving me plenty to pray about! Last month it was my uncle's stroke (by the way, he is home now and doing better every day! Praise Jesus!), last week my daddy got sent to the cardiologist, which was a scare (he is ok! Praise Jesus again!), and this week it's my aunt's bleeding ulcer/hole in her colon/ aneurysm all in one. During surgery, they found out that she has colon cancer, and a spot on her liver. It is not looking good.

On top of that, I am very distraught and discouraged with our baby-making process. It just doesn't seem like it will happen, and I am not clear on whether or not God wants us to adopt. Plus, I am in fear of losing my job this year. On one hand, I know this probably isn't the time to have a baby for financial reasons, but on the other hand, I serve a God who is loving and can provide. The economy may not get better for years, and I can't wait for the world to get better before we have children.

I am tired. Tired of not catching a break. Tired of taking one step forward and two steps back. Just tired.

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