In the last few days, I have seen my husband all of 5 minutes. His work schedule was different this weekend because of Thanksgiving this week, so he has had to sleep all day yesterday and today. When he has to sleep, I usually enjoy about the first hour that I have to myself. This is when I will typically take a bubble bath, watch a chick flick, or pick up a book. However, after that first hour is over, I get bored. Terribly bored. Almost to the point of tears. I hate that he is just in the next room, but I mustn't bother him...I get super lonely. It is these times, when I go days at a time without seeing him, that I realize just how much I love him and need him. I do a lot of thinking during these times, and yesterday I asked myself, "what in the world would I do if I lost him? I'd go nuts! Literally!"
The other day, I was talking to my friend, Bekah, who has been a great blessing in my life. She has been in this very spot before since her husband used to work 3rds as well, so she knows my pain. I was telling her how frustrated I get with Brandon because he doesn't seem to want to better himself. He stays at this job, hating it, when he could do so much more. He has so much to offer the world...he could really make a difference! But, he doesn't. It aggravates me because I know he is more intelligent than he gives himself credit for. She made the comment that in his mind, he is probably doing the best he can, and my frustration only brings him down. WOW. This was painfully true, and I needed someone to say it to me.
So, I wanted to take a moment to praise Brandon. He is an AMAZING husband...the best there is, if you ask me. But, I'm biased. He works so hard. He has called in all of twice (exactly) since we have been married, which is amazing to me... I love taking time off. He has more commitment to his job than I do, and I admire that. My words and even my actions don't always say so, but he is my hero. I know he does his best, and he wants to be loyal.
Honey, I love you more than anything, and I am so proud of you, even when I don't act like it. You are amazing, and I am trying each day to become the wife God wants me to be. I am imperfect, so forgive me. I just want you to have the life you deserve. I AM proud of you!